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10 Great Things to Say to Your Child

1. 
   

   You've always been a plus in my life. Tell your child how important she is to you on a regular basis. It's a wonderful thing to hear. For a child to know that she's the best thing to have ever happened to you sets her up fpr life with good feeling about herself.

2. 
   

   Telling is OK. When a chile complaints about her campanion's behaviour, she's not "telling tales". She is actually asking how she should handle the situation. Instead of saying, "Don't tell tales," try "Let's see what we can do about this". This will give your child some strategies on how to deal with similar situations in the future should they arise, and it shows her that you are interested in what is happening to her.

   
   
3. 
   

   I'm very proud of you, you did that so well. For a child to feel that her parents are genuinely proud of her - whether she has simply mastered tying her own shoelaces or has achieved some greater goal - gives her the incentive to try anything. So don't be afraid to praise he often, for even the smallest of achievements.

   
   
4. 
   

   I said NO. Children need limits and guidance. It's great to treat kids with respect, but they need our maturity to put them on the path to responsible behaviour. Children without boundaries feel insecure and obliged to act beyond their years. It's important to let children be children and leave the ultimate responsibility for themselves to you.

   
   
5. 
   

   It's all right to cry or feel sad. A common response to a crying child to say: "There, there, don't cry", but this is giving her  the message that cry is weak and that it is better to bottle up her feelings. If she is hurt, physically or emotionally, try saying, "That hurt you, didn't it? You have a good cry until it feels better". Giving children permission to cry allows them to come to terms with their own feelings, and not just our ideas about how they should feel.

   
   
6. 
   

   It's OK to make mistakes. Remaining calm when your child has split indelible red ink on your white carpet may be beyond you, but helping her to learn that everyone makes mistakes. All children have accidents when growing up. Keep them in perspective or your child will be so scared of making a mistake that she won'tnce to sort feel confident about trying anything.

   
   
7. 
   

   You're clever to have worked that out. Giving your child the chance to sort things out on her own will give her the confidence to try things. If she tries and fails, you can say: "It's great that you tried. I'm so pleased you did". If she tries and succeeds, you have yet another opportunity to lavish her with praise.

   
   
8. 
   

   You don't have to do anything. Children these days have every waking hour filled with "meaningful activities". Ballet, art, music lessons, tennis coaching, chess, football training - you name it and children are growing up for it. But, just like adults, children do need time just to be, to think and to wonder. Too much planned activity destroys creativity and the play children need. Saying "Don't do anything" might just startle your child into her own activity.

   
   
9. 
   

   I like you because you're you. Unconditional love is essential to all of us, and your child needs to feel that she is "just right" as she is - today, this minute, right now. By saying this, you're also saying that your child does'nt have to prove anything to you; it's enough that she is just there.

   
   
10. 
    

    I love you. These are the best three words in the English language for any child to hear. As parents, we should all use them at least once a day.